I often hear the words, “It’s not fair!” stemming from a wish not granted, goal not reached, health/medical issues, comparison of one life to another, death(s), or the famous black and white, “LIFE ISN’T FAIR!!”
Maybe, just maybe, it’s time to take fairness out of the equation. Frankly, what purpose does it serve? Okay, if the anger or frustration gets channeled into action, then great. But from my experience, most people who continually use that phrase, eventually learn to use it as an excuse. “Nothing good happens to me, it’s so not fair!”.
Now, I’m not negating or invalidating anyone’s thoughts or feelings. Quite the opposite, in fact. Go ahead, feel it, but give yourself a time limit. Then, either let it go or do something about it. I’m not saying it will be easy nor am I going to get preachy and say you need to find God, or pomegranates, for that matter. You do what you feel is right, for you. It certainly isn’t as cut and dry as it sounds; it is an ongoing, Life effort. Sometimes it is SO HARD, when series of events cascade down upon us. But, don’t let it culminate into a habit or mindset of unhelpful thoughts; for indeed, it will become a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Let’s take a look at the given: In EVERYONE’S life, things happen – good, bad and indifferent. Fairness, or lack thereof, has no boundaries. Family and friends, people we care about, things happen with no rhyme or reason. We are born, we live, we die. Period. What happens in between that time varies from person to person, changing from day to day, moment to moment. We can work our asses off only to have the proverbial rug pulled out from under us.
I don’t think bad things should happen. But I’ve come to think of it as “it is what it is”, because no matter how many times I posed the question WHY???, I never received an answer that fully made sense.
So, I decided to make a choice. I chose to accept certain facts in my life that will not change. I chose to change my way of thinking about those facts – I cannot change them, but I can change how I deal with them. I choose to dance. It may be awkward at times, sometimes graceful, but still, I dance.